On Cutting Against the Grain podcast, @lauraespath and I had the pleasure of chatting with our friend, @coachjessyca.
🌟We talk about how healing from disordered eating sometimes comes down to fear (not being good enough) and even being surrounded by narcissists.
🦄Narcissism is a scary thing, especially when you’re under the veil of someone’s “tip of the iceberg.” They seem like the perfect person. You even feel excitement being a part of their lives.
🐍But as you’re around the narcissist, things don’t seem as picture perfect over time. You may feel lost or depleted. You feel guilty or not good enough. You feel like you have to try harder and you just don’t understand why.
🚨You may get deeper into your less-than-ideal habits (e.g., food, alcohol, drugs).
Well, you may be dealing with a narcissist.
⚖️Being in management consulting for 12 years and now the social media space has blessed (and cursed) me with the ability to meet a lot of people in a short amount of time.
🥀I’ve run into narcissists and they’ve even hurt me deeply. Their passion and charisma drew me in but their self-centered, controlling, and lying tendencies made the questioning in me grow.
⚠️Once I realized the narcissistic play, it all made sense.
SO, HOW TO HANDLE A NARCISSIST?
❌BOUNDARIES. ZERO CONTACT
Narcissists want all control and need to be the center of attention. If you show zero care for the person, they will lose “power.”
💔But all of us can’t cut the person fully out of our lives (e.g., boss, parent-child relationship, spouse)
🪨GRAY ROCK METHOD
With the Gray Rock Method, you don’t overtly try to avoid contact with the narcissist. Instead, you allow contact but only give boring, monotonous responses so that they go elsewhere for their supply of drama, adoration and attention.
🐶REWARD GOOD BEHAVIOR
Since narcissists survive off compliments, give them attention when they show positive behavior. Both parties get positive outcomes.
🕵🏻♂️It’s not easy to detect a narcissist. In the podcast, we talk specific examples. Figuring this out may bring you healing.